| Oh God.
It's 08:30 in the morning, and I spent the whole night on X-Files'
bedroom floor. I remember the night before, we went to a night-club, got
pissed, and came back again. The floor seems so
comfy after a skinful, but in the morning : Agony! I figure why I
feel so bad by looking at my watch, and knowing that I have to get up.
But, uncomfortable as the floor is, and as cool as the prospect of going
to Alton Towers is, for some reason, you just don't want to get up. Why
is that? Anyway… X-Files was no-where to be seen, having deserted us a one in the morning (That's because you snore like a beast - X-Files), and not letting us know that we could have had his bed. Git. I found him a little later, he went to sleep in the room next door. Ah well, up to him, I suppose. After half an hours "Getting Up Time", we all piled into Little Red and sped up the M1 (J23A - then follow signs - X-Files) to the village of Alton. |
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Alton Towers is Britain's biggest and best theme park. Set in Staffordshire, Alton Towers is named after the castle it surrounds. It has loads of really cool rides in, and a farm and stuff for kids restaurants, shops, arcades, ponds, and all the normal theme-parky type things. X-Files and I immediately decided that we had to go on the Nemesis, and jumped onto a cable car to ride over to the "Forbidden Valley". The Nemesis is pretty god-damned fly. It cost £10,000,000 to build, and weighs 440 tonnes. It's just crazy. You queue up, and the ride is all around you, sucking you towards the fences as it goes by. It's all done up to look really old, with fake rust painted on to the support beams, and old cars and things all over the place. It has waterfalls flowing into a big pool, but the water is red. And red water is just really cool. Once you are in the little building and queuing for the train, you notice that it makes a really good rhythm when it comes in. Rather than sitting in a car, you hang underneath the track like a monorail, with your legs dangling in space. It climbs up a little hill and them absolutely hammers off down the track, round and round and upside down, wahoo! Anyhow... |
It is stupidly huge. I spotted it first, this
roller-coaster car which was there, and then it was gone. X-Files and I
stuffed our Kentucky down our throats and ran out to watch it. It has a
seventy foot vertical drop which goes underground and comes out further
along, twisting a bit and stopping at the other end. The hole it
disappears into the ground is covered in water vapor, so you can't be
sure how deep it goes. We look up, and one of the cars trundles around
the corner, onto the very edge of the drop, and stops. It stays for
about four seconds, and then whoosh, it flies past at 110kph, creating
so much suction that bits of paper are pulled into the fence you all
stand around. X-Files and I watched a few more, and then ran up for our
go. We hopped on and strapped in, and off we went, up the hill.
Click-click-click-click… It was quite tranquil actually, looking at
the sky and the seats were very comfy. Then we got to the top and
trundled on. We were so high up. X and I were getting decidedly
worried at this point. We turned a corner, and were treated to a view of
the whole of England. All the people walking round on the floor were
tiny little ants. Some pointed up at us, and we suddenly started to
think "What are we doing here?"
