Come On Then

I'm typing in black, like a normal person. He is typing is lots of different colours. For ease of reading, I've changed him to red.

Hello. Are you from top-wallpapers?
Yes. R U HSLife
Sorry? <<<    (I'd like to point out that I know exactly what R U means, but it pisses me off that people can't be arsed to type.)
R U HSLife?
I don't understand.
Are you from HSLife?
Yes, that's me. Hello!
U R scum
I'm sorry?
You are scum
That's rather rude. You've only just met me.
Maybe so, but I know U R fucking scum
R U still here? << (As you can imagine, it took me quite a while to type the following reply. No-one diss's me.)
In that case, you foul mouthed, illiterate freak, even though I have never met her, I know your mother f***s squealing pigs so much that her underpants smell the same as smoky bacon. Also, she is so unbelievably ugly that the hog in question needs to be blindfolded to achieve an erection.
My isn't this fun.
Your momma is so stupid that parked cars watch out for her
That's not right is it?
Yes
No, it's either 'So fat that cars look out for her', or 'so stupid she gets run over by parked cars'. Idiot.
Yeah whatever, you moorie    << (I have no idea what a 'moorie' is. Can one of our American readers tell me?)
Look, we can sit here and trade insults all night, but you'll only be made to look like an a-hole. In fact, you've done that already with that 'Yo Momma' joke.
U R stealing my pictures.
Are we?
Yes
What, you drew all of them yourself? You should be proud that people want them.
I made them all for MY website
Yeah, so? We changed them all for ours.
You took my f***ing name off!!!!!    << (People who use multiple exclamation marks need to go back to school, IMHO.)
So we're using your pictures.
Yes
And that's a breach of copyright?
Thats correct
But what about all the films and games they were copyrighted on in the first place?
That has nothing to do with you
Yeah, right! It has everything to fucking do with me!
Y?
Yes? Yes what?
I said why!!!!!
Oh. Because how can you accuse me of breaking your copyright when you are stealing images from films, TV shows, computer games, etc. etc?
Its still my copyright
Afraid not. Anyway, I've had a look and all your site says is © Crappy Wallpapers
That means that they are my property and YOU Can't take them
No, that means that you have simply typed © Crappy Wallpapers. You have to apply for copyrights, you imbecile.
Thats all you have to do
No, if you were to do it properly, you would do the following…    << (This is me stalling for time to grab a book to copy from)
Do what??
DO WHAT??
HELLO?
You would apply for a copyright from a valid source, and then, somewhere on your site, something like 'These pictures © 2000 Crappy Wallpapers.com. The copyright for these images is owned by Crappy Wallpapers.com. All rights reserved. These images are provided subject to the condition that they shall not, through trade or otherwise, be used for any other purpose than that of computer decoration. Any circulation, trade or otherwise, is allowed only after prior written consent from Crappy Wallpapers.com.' written on it, otherwise your poxy little bracketed 'c' means absolutely Jack Shit.
U R still scum
My, aren't you pathetic? Never before have I spoken to such a cretin.
Anyway, until you come up with a lawyers' letter I am going to totally ignore your mails. And if you try to bomb me again*, I'll get Bio to bomb you back. And he's better at it than you are.
Bye.

*He sent me an e-mail with the subject 'Mail Bomb'. Judging by the writing standard of his earlier mail, I decided to open it. It contained the text 'Mail Bomb' and had an attachment called 'Bomb.exe'. Intrigued, I opened the attachment. Nothing happened. The man is indeed an undiscovered genius.