Enigma's 4th

Wahoo!

Why, if you read the night club reviews, do we rate Enigma so highly?
   Does it have exceptionally good music?
   No.
   Is it incredibly cheap?
   No.
   Does is have thousands of wikkid lights?
   No.

So what does Enigma have that we like so much?
   The thing all night clubs are striving for. The one thing that makes the night, no matter what else is going on. No matter how exceptional the music, or how wikkid the lights.
   Enigma has atmosphere.
   Enigma has a presence, as soon as you walk into the door to the front bar. It screams "Welcome to Enigma" from every available corner. Everything, from the uniforms people wear, to the music they play, meshes in with everything else. Enigma flows, flows like no other night club I have been to. Everything has been well thought out, and no details are overlooked.

And this weekend they are celebrating their fourth birthday. It's Friday today, and so far Enigma have only carried off one night of their three-day celebration plan, which was a Club Classics Ibiza Foam Party.
Roady Nase, Tart With A Heart and I (DJ Ess) all jumped into Doris the Datsun and sped off to Enigma. Now, as I was not the only one from HSLife there that night, I will invite Roady Nase to join in on this subject. I will write in red. Roady Nase can write in black. Is that okay, Roady Nase?
I think that would be just fine, DJ Ess.
This will be like the '12 Go To Hunstanton' review.
Yep, it might turn out that way, lets find out.
The only difference being that the only reason I put loads of info into that is because, without it, it would have only been five lines long. Anyhow…
Did you have a good time at 'Nigma last night, Roady Nase?
It was one of the best nights I have ever had at Enigma, the music really did rock, the foam machine looked impressive, the lights, like always, were amazing.
Okay, I'm going to digress for a few seconds to discuss our lunch break. We have just got back from lunch, and several interesting things happened. For starters, some old dude tried to cut us up. There was only room for one car, and the road marking clearly indicated that it was our right of way. And yet he decided to go through the gap. With his hand on the horn, Roady Nase kept driving while I called him a wanker out of the window. We missed him by such a minuscule amount that not only did he look petrified, the driver of a white van behind him gave us a round of applause. Respect due and received. Cool.
But dude, don't forget what happened when we got to Burger King.  As we walked into BK (after parking on double yellow lines, outside) we saw Ricky. Well, Ricky was a little squirt of a 9^th year, who attempted to play basketball against us at school, but to our shock he was all tarted up in a shirt 'n tie, ready to go to work.  WORK he's a ninth year he should be at school. I was truly amazed of how time flies.  Oh yeah take a look at D--------.
Hmm. Mr Weigi Wu. What a cool name. And don't forget the fit schoolgirlie's in BK who were eyeing us up. Man, that redhead had to be sixteen, she was fine!
Did it have something to do with the red hair? Anyway back to Enigma, do you know what is happening tonight?
Yes indeed, it's the Boogie Nights Special with "Fabba Mania", the greatest Abba tribute band ever. So it says here. I thought that's what the Brit award for Steps was this year. Hmm.
   It also says that they are going to have "70's style disco lighting." I am intrigued to see this. Thinking about it, that means that all they will be using is mirror balls, 0-gobo scanners, and flashing lights. We will see. Am I right in saying that they will have to do something very special to impress us, as neither of us are really into 70's music at all?
I ain't sure about it. I mean I don't mind 70's music, well some of it anyway, but it is going to be a bit like Enigma 2, and as you know I can't last in Enigma 2 for too long. Anyway we will have to see.  I should think Enigma will surprise us again.
I think it might. They've got to play some modern stuff, though, surely? Maybe 'Nig-two will be open for us 'ravers'.
Well we would hope so, but hey I believe it will be a rocking night whatever, even if I am driving (sob sob). I will get wit' it on me red devil.
Well, we'd best just wait and see. We shall continue this 'conversation' on Monday, when we both know the outcome. Oh, and by the way, I have pulled all the keys off my keyboard and put them back on in alphabetical order. Everything is fine until I look at my hands. Bye.

Okay then, it ain't Monday it is Tuesday, but anyway. Enigma, oh yeah 70's 'n 80's night, I think I remember that.
Hmm. It was… Well… It was okay. In fact, considering it was a 70's night, it was excellent. There were balloons to play with, and tassels hanging everywhere. It certainly looked the part. The seventies lighting was a bit dubious, it was just the 90's lighting slowed down. And he did play a couple of up-to-date songs. It was okay. Certainly better than I expected.
Okay then, it wasn't that bad, but it was not brilliant. At the end of the day it was 70's stuff and I ain't a great fan of the 70's. (Mainly 'cause I weren't around in the 70's) To be fair Enigma did do well though, the music was okay - although they made a stupid mistake, that I will never be able to forgive Enigma for. They played STEPS and S CLUB 7, I can't believe that they would play such shit, and what have they got to do with 70's and 80's, except for Steps trying to be like ABBA and are failing.
I agree with the Steps bit, but what's wrong with S Club 7? They are just a bit of fun, right kids? Anyway. Actually, you saying 'Try to be like Abba and are failing' has reminded me of the Abba tribute band that was there, 'Fabba Mania'. Hellooooooooo brunet!

Goodbye old blokes.
Okay, so the blokes who stood at the back and did nothing didn't have to be there, but the brunet! Grr! And she spoke to me!
Yes she spoke to you, she was trying to shut you up!
No way. We were talking about sex.
True enough, sex was mentioned, but she obviously thought money was more important than sex (unlike some).
And here's me not having much of either. None of one, in fact. But anyway, this is what actually went down. They were introducing their next song. She (the brunet) said "This next song is about the most important thing in the world."
   All sorts of suggestions were thrown in from the crowd, and then I shouted "Sex!" and she looked at me and said "No, not sex. It's money!" And proceeded to sing Money Money Money. Face it, Roady Nase, not only was she fine, but she wanted me.
Just in case Little Miss Funky reads this, the brunet did not want him, the only reason she replied to his sex remark is because he shouts so bloody loud, they could hear him upstairs in the bowling alley, but to keep him happy, yeah, she wanted you.
She did. That's why wouldn't she stop looking at me.
   Except for the crappy blokes, Fabba Mania were a good touch though. The whole night was good, and if you happen to like 70's and 80's music, I think you would have loved it. What did TWH think, dude?
Yes, she liked it but she did admit that Thursday and Saturday were better.
Ah yes. Saturday. Good Times Fourth birthday.
Well what can you say, it f'ing ruled. Enigma went mad, they had temporary tattoos (tattooists, surely), banging tunes, crazy lights and to top it all a laser to die for. So what was the first thing the 3 of us did? We went straight to the cocktail and shots bar.

Indeed. But because Enigma was so busy that night, they didn't have the Higher State Of Unconsciousness. So we had two double Sambuka's (yum…), and two 'One For The Lads' cocktails, which had a shot of whiskey, Drambuie, Southern Comfort, and lime all mixed up. Bang, bang, bang, bang. Stagger, stagger. Then we had lots of beer and whiskey. But you had to enjoy yourself, you didn't have a choice. Enigma was fantastic that night.
It really was fantastic, and the drinks just made the night an even better night. It ruled, it was Enigma in top form, and we all even got a free mix tape (but the taxi we get into didn't have a stereo, typical).

There were dancers, people dressed up as huge aliens, people were giving out free lollypops to the queue, the LASER was, as you say, to die for, and the tattoo guy was free. I got Taz drinking a beer, and Roady Nase got, er, a pattern. They did come off slightly, but, hey, what do you expect? And then, to top it all, there was the near-legendary Bongo Ted. This guy sets up his steel drums and bongo's, and proceeds to go mental along with the music. He is absolutely incredible. And he spoke to Roady Nase!

Indeed he did, I met him in the gents (I didn't follow him in there), and we had a quick chat about how he has become so good at what he does, but as we said Enigma made a massive effort and it was massive night, defiantly worth the money.
The free tape was surprisingly good as well, I was impressed. Maybe we could stick it on at a gig one day and go down the pub. So, that just about wraps this up. Two fantastic nights out, and one that was okay. Well done 'Nigma!
Indeed well done Enigma, we are all impressed with your birthday party, and I hope you do something just as special for my birthday. That's the 24^th April, just in case you forgot.